There’s nothing better than free money, especially when it’s free money given to you by the government to spend freely. When you get your $600, here are some suggestions on what to do with it.

An iPhone

An iPhone is a great gadget to buy if you’re an Apple fanboy or nerd who can’t bare to be without internet access for more than five minutes. The best part about having an iPhone? Being able to constantly utter the phrase “Let me just check my iPhone” and have every email sent from it signed “sent from my iPhone,” just in case someone forgets that you have an iPhone. With $600, not only can you buy an iPhone, but you’ll have enough left over to buy a separate cell phone and be “one of those guys.”

XBOX 360/PS3

Really, you should already have one of these anyway. But if you don’t, go buy one and make sure you get Grand Theft Auto IV along with it. That sh*t is awesome!

Strip Club

A trip to the strip club is a great way to spend cash at an alarmingly fast rate. But seriously, don’t let any of the “talent” get you over to the ATM. The government money is meant to be spent. Your daughter’s college fund is what’s going to keep her out of a place like the strip club you’re in.

Trump Steaks
If anyone knows good, high quality meat, it’s pompous real estate tycoons with bad hairdos. Not only that, but these classy steaks are sold through the Sharper Image, known slightly more for their tech gadgets than their butcher shop expertise. However, the steaks are only available to buy online. My guess is because they realized that Porsche radio phones don’t need to be refrigerated.

Gambling

The only faster way to lose money than a strip club. $600 on black. GONE! But if you’re lucky, you can double your money and buy more iPhones for your iPhone collection.

600 Tacos

Tacos, man! Do I really need to say anything else?

Face Tattoo
Nothing says “I’m one hardcore badass” than a tattoo right on your f*cking face. In addition to completely throwing away any chance of landing a real job, children will ask their parents what’s wrong with you and people like me will point and laugh. But come on–anyone who would actually do this probably doesn’t have anything better to do with $600 anyway.

Save it

If this is your plan, then you have clearly missed the point of this whole thing. Letting that money sit won’t help the U.S. economy. If you don’t spend stupidly, the terrorists win.

Hey, I think the title kind of speaks for itself. I have had some driving issues before but never quite as bad as here. How is it in your city?

 The far left lane is not your personal lane to get into just “because”, nor is it the slow lane. Why do you insist in treating it that way? When all 3 or 4 lanes have cars side by side all going 45 in a 65 zone, or when you get in the far left lane when no one is in front of you; that is just stupid.

7) When I pass someone on the highway, why do you feel the need to pass me back and then slow down in front of me. Just because I passed you it does not make you less of a man.

6) When you go to the auto dealership, were the FIRST words out of your mouth “Give me the biggest thing you got!”? I cannot see a reason to drive something the size of a house, unless you are moving a house. If you insist on driving something so big, join the fire department, or a monster truck rally. That way it does’t immediatly look like you bought something just to get revenge on the guy who cut you off while you were a teenager. (Women included!)

5) I passed someone going half the speed limit, on a dashed center line, with no other traffic. I explainded this to the officer and asked what I did wrong, and the reply I get is “Well, you’re getting a ticket.” It took 4 of the officers to figure out what to put on the ticket and I still do not know that I did wrong. 

4) I chalk this up to the fact that I live toward the rural side of the area, but I can never seem to find a street sign when I need one.

3) After what I am assuming to be numerous complaints, they finally started telling the news people when they are going to be shutting down pieces of highway for construction. I still occasionally find my exit lane closed when I get there, but at least there is an effort and I am not taking, yes, 4.5 hours to get to work. That was just a bad night.

2) When you turn your turn signal on to change lanes, why do people around you suddenly feel they need to sit beside you and keep matching your speed as you speed up or slow down trying to get in or out of the exit only lane.

1) Why do people insist on going strait from a turn only lane, and turn from a strait only lane? Nearly been hit more than several times.

It appears that nearly everyone here has the “OH, NO YOU DON’T” mentality when driving. It seems like people are all driving like they have been scorned and scarred for life while driving and vowed “never to be made a fool of again”. I can just feel the spite coming from cars everywhere. Get over it. You really accomplish nothing but letting me know why my auto insurance cost doubled when I moved here.

In the short time I have been here I have seen several accidents, seen the white sheets layed out on more than 1 occasion; Pulled a lady from a burning car and nearly got hit while parked at a gas pump (I will never complain about those metal arch things at the end of the gas pumps ever again. They serve their purpose well. His car was more than totaled, mine was minor damage.)

People, PLEASE pay attention. You are not the only ones on the road. The lives you effect could be someone’s I care about.

Those are my opinions. If you don’t like them, get your own and make them known!

-Cam    

OK, sometimes you have to say to yourself “Are you kidding me?” These are 8 of those times.

“Cooking in HD” Someone actually (allegedly) shrinkwrapped old oven doors and was selling them as flat widscreen TVs. OH! and check out his floor tiles…. I mean laptops! 

7) “MOMMY! can I have an X-Game 360 AND a PowerStation 3?”  The X-Game 360 and the PowerStation 3 have swept the hearts and souls of all the good little children of Mexico. That is if you are OK with actually buying an 8Bit system (and a knockoff of that to boot). Well for only 299 each why not get both? Oh, did I mention that was in Pesos?…… (aprox 26.90 USD)

6) “If I just send money to this Iowa Congressman, I’ll be rich!” I am pretty sure just about all of us have seen those emails about the “Nigerian prince who needs us to cash a check for him”. I would hope that everyone I would want to associate with would have the brains not to fall for this scam. Well then, I obviously do not know the former Iowa Congressman, Ed Mezvinsky. He not only “became the victim of “just about every different kind of African-based scam we’ve ever seen,” federal prosecutor Bob Zauzmer told. But then, says Zauzmer, Mezvinsky began to steal from clients and even his own mother-in-law to raise the money to try yet another scheme.” BTW, he should be out of jail by November 2008. What a piece of work…………

5) “Dead? Again?” Faking your death to avoid traffic charges? And she got away with it too, until she got pulled over again later and reportedly told the officer “But officer, I’m supposed to be dead. Whoops.”. If that was not enough, there was even a guy who did this to get out of his Verizon Wireless contract.

4) “Drugs flying high as a rocket” A 4 foot rocket hidden in the trunk of your car that is meant to “eject” your contraband in the event of you getting pulled over? Oh My God! Leave it to someone on Meth to also think that cops would be stupid enough not to notice a 4ft missle beeing shot out of the back of your car. This was really bad idea, even if it had worked, but they forgot to plug it in.

3) “Forget mobile, this is door to door mammography” I am pretty sure that we have all heard this one, and some have you have even thought about it. Old man with black bag offering door to door breast exams. Let’s face it, if a total stranger gropes you on the train, you pretty much know that they are not a doctor doing a public service. What is the difference between that, and if they knock on your home door first? But, hey! They do not always have to come to you. You can actually go right to their storage shed for a full exam. 

2) “But what happens if Nessie eats me and I can’t finish the race?”  Yes you heard that right. They are holding a duathlon in Scotland and the organizers have taken out a 1 Million Pound (1.97 Mill USD) insurance policy that “would pay out should “Nessie” emerge from the murky depths of the vast watercourse and/or attack one of the competitors.”  Regardless if Nessie is real or not, can you also get “Bigfoot insurance” when you go camping?

1) “Cop, burger, and some really old chicken” A guy claiming to be a police office is going into fast food restautants demanding a refund on his food because he found a hair in it. Dubbed the “burger bandet”, he has hit McDonalds, Wendy’s, Burger King, and Kentucky Fried Chicken, all in the small town of Middlefield, Ohio. He has no uniform, gun or badge, but in all fairness in the Wendy’s he did have on a t-shirt that said “Cleveland Heights Academy Police School”. He would find discarded food and take it inside and make his claim. OK he has only gotten away with $16.17 worth of goods, but I also think he took a little of the employees’ pride with him too.

These are my opinions. If you don’t like them get your own and make them known.

-Cam

OK. I have listed the non-sitcoms canceled way too soon out there. Now here are the sitcoms. (I still blame Luke for some of these)

War at Home (Fox) - 2 Seasons - It was a comedy involving a family in the same vien as “The Simpsons” or “Married With Children”.  I was skeptical about this show at the end of the first episode, but then I really started to enjoy it. I can’t wait to see what happens to….. oh wait… nevermind.

7) Four Kings (NBC) - 8 Episodes - I really kind of liked this show. Four guys sharing a place. They ranged from the republican with a “suit job”, to the dude who needed to find how to keep a job. Yea, some of the stuff going on was a little childish (hey, put 4 childhood guy friends in their early 20s living together (What, no goat?) and that’s going to happen), but it was mostly a lot of fun.

6) Dead Like Me (HBO) - 2 Seasons - I think what kind of made (and broke) this show was it was on a pay channel. They were able to take more liberties in their content but you had to buy HBO to see it. Dead people playing grim reapers to assist souls into the “afterlife”. This was a really great show that sometimes played out more like a funny drama, but you have to appreciate a show where the main character was killed by a flaming toilet seat falling from the sky. And that was in the very first episode.

5) Happy Hour (Fox) - 1? Season -  The World Series killed this show. It kept getting shifted and bounced around to accomidate the baseball games. It was never able to get a flow. It never could find it’s nitch. It never had a chance.          

4) The Class (CBS) - 1+ season - Could had been and should have been the next big sitcom. After just 1 season, it was ”not renewed” in March. ”The Class” was truly the next show that should have taken the torch from “Friends”. Great cast (until they started chopping people out of it) and good writing. And both kept getting better as everything started to gel. I hate to keep referring to “Friends” but it was a mainstay of american TV sitcoms for 10 years. And with the 3 main writers for it, David Crane / “The Class”,and Marta Kauffman and Kevin Bright / “Joey”. “The Class showed us that the magic is still in the formula. Someone just has to find it and keep it (Possibly the awesome “how i met your mother“?….).

3) The Tick (live action) (Fox) - 1 Season - I liked this SO much better than the cartoon. Absolutly fantastic cast. This had the potential to be awesome. But unfortunatly it was very much a “nitch show” and the audience just wasn’t there.

2) Greg The Bunny (Fox) - 1 Season - Only 11 of the 13 episodes filmed aired for this short lived series. It was an odd one too. When I say odd, I mean sometimes you felt you had been in the same room too long with Lewis Carroll when he was on one of his opium binges. “Fabricated Americans” who were trying to stay true to their “Puppish” heratige while trying to make it in the “flesh man’s world”. Er.. Uh.. I mean, living puppets as actors on a kids show. Greg had Jimmy (Seth Green) for a roommate which led to some interesting situations. It was a hoot! But, I think the whole alive puppet things may have been a little much for most people, but this has kind of made a comeback of sorts. Some new episodes are supposed to be playing on the “Independant Film Channel” for those of you who get it.

1) DOAs (any given channel) - I have reserved this spot for all of the sitcoms that the networks bought, made, and killed in 2 episodes or less. If they had any idea that they were not even going to air them, why did they waste the money on shooting them in the first place. I am sure most of them were absolute crap, but I am sure there were at least a few things in there better than “reality TV”.

These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, get your own and make them known.

-Cam

OK. E3 is over for another year and I still do not have my personal jet pack. 

But, I do have a list of some announcements (or lack there of) that either impressed me or just made me think “WTF?”. 

8 E3 announcements (or lack there of) 

PSP redesign - The new design for the PlayStation Portable is a welcome site. It will have a smaller size while keeping the same screen size (GOOD MOVE!), that will of course make it lighter. It will still have no built in storage memory, but it will have more onboard RAM to help decrease load times. It will also include an A/V out to hook it to a TV to play at home or even, heaven forbid, have a way to watch UMD movies on a TV. 

7) Wii Fit - In keeping with the theme of “nontraditional gaming” that we have come to expect with the Nintendo Wii, they have announced Wii Fit. It is software that is designed to help in the overall fitness of the user. A personal trainer, if you will, for motivation and exercise routines at home. It made a HUGE splash at the expo, and it does look to be interesting. 

6) XBOX 360 Halo 3 Edition - It is a new 360 model that will be released….. that is a weird khaki green…. that does not even come with Halo 3…. *yawn*…. Oh, but wait. It does have HDMI… *snore*…….. 

5) Mario Kart Wii - I am a huge fan of the Mario Kart series (specifically the handheld versions). Many lunch hours have been spent with groups of coworkers, friends and various portable versions of this game. Oh, MANY fond memories…. I am just excited to hear of a new version coming out for this. One of the main reasons is….. 

4) Wii Online - Nintendo has announced that they will be having more games come out that support online play. Mostly noted are Excitebike and Mario Kart Wii. Seeing that they are starting to swing into the online play a little more should make a lot of people a little happier (including me).   

3) Scene It (XBOX Live) - I have always enjoyed this game series but often felt a little empty when I would beat whoever I was playing so badly that they never wanted to play again. I think the idea of online trivia games is awesome! Now it is time to step up my game and get my ass kicked by someone that is even more of a geek than I am. (BTW Comedy Central needs to bring back the game show “Beat the Geeks”) 

2) No Price Cut for the XBOX 360 - I was kind of disappointed that there was no price cut announcement for this. Microsoft had just announced that they acknowledge that a “small minority” of people were having a specific problem with their 360 overheating (one person is on their 12th system replacement) and they extended the warranty to 3 years for the “3 red ring” error. Many analysts were expecting a price cut as an answer to Sony’s $100 price cut on the Playstation 3. Or, did Microsoft know something that no one else did?……………….. 

1) The F-up of the show award - Sony price cut confusion - Sony announced earlier they are price cutting the PlayStation 3 by $100, making it $499, and releasing a new model that includes a game and an increased hard drive size from 60G to 80G, at the original price of $599 (BTW The 80G doesn’t have PS2 hardware in it. Meaning it relies on emulation to play PS1 or 2 games, just like the cheaper to make European version, and the XBOX to 360 backword compatability). Yea, we finally have a choice again and, more importantly, a price cut. But, wait…. During the expo, they announce they will no longer be producing the 60G model, essentially making the price cut a clearance sale price… And, the only 60G models remaining are on retail shelves and when they release the 80G model on Aug 1, those would be gone. No more after July… And, that there is plenty of stock and the 60G model will be around for a long time. They are not expecting to sell out until some time next year… And, that they stopped producing the 60G model some time ago and they do not expect any left after July… And, that they anticipate shoppers would have both options through the holiday shopping season. So… WTF? A price cut, but not really, that they expect to have available well through the holiday season, or until shortly after the end of July. What a FUBAR, and a big disappointment.   

Hey, my opinions. If you don’t like them, get your own and make them known. 

-Cam  

YEA!! Everyone rejoice! E3 is upon us! 

For those of you who may not know E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo) is an annual event in which the major electronic entertainment companies reveal and showcase exciting and new things that make people like me go… “YAHOOIE!” 

OK if you have heard anything about it recently, you know that everyone and their dog are trying to predict what is coming, and fitting their wish list into their predictions. 

Well, screw that! I want my expectations met! Like it has been said many times before… “The year 2000 has come and gone. I want my personal jetpack!!!!” 

Holograms - I don’t mean those silly foil things that come on kid’s toys to make them shiny so they will bug their parents more to buy them. I mean a full fledged, interactive, “Red Dwarf” style hologram. My very own virtual anything or anyone!!  (If you are not sure what “Red Dwarf” is, it’s a fun book. I recommend it.) 

7) Replicator - I was originally thinking about the “Star Trek” food replicator, but why limit myself to just food. I think you get the idea. 

6) Direct Cranial Interface (DCI) - A medium on which to connect directly to something, to instantly relay any information, emotion, or thought from one person or device to your brain, without the possibility of misinterpretation. 

5) Knowledge Pills - It does not have to be a pill, but something that you can “take” in the case that you need to know absolutely everything about something in a short amount if time. (Kind of like Trinity, in the Matrix, learning how to fly a helicopter). You could get them in the regular or the cheaper generic. The generic would basically do the same thing but the effects may not last as long. 

4) Babblefish - Unlike the original, it does not necessarily have to be an actual fish. It would, however, be a device that will allow you to understand any language that is “spoken”. The original concept went in the ear, others called for small devices worn on the front of your shirt, or even nanite injections. Which leads me to….. 

3) Nanite Injections - Almost microscopic robots that are capable of monitoring your body and ”fixing” things as necessary. They would detect when something is wrong in you body and repair it. For example if you get cut, they would go the open wound and immediately repair it. Think about it, they could fix blood sugar levels, help maintain your weight, mend bones, or even repair muscles from your toe to your neck to your heart. 

2) Holodeck - Not just simply a hologram in the physical world, but a physical you interacting with a holographic world. Go anyplace, do or see anything. Limited only by your own imagination. Oh just think of the adventures!   

1) “Transporter” - It could be a molecular transporter or whatever. I just want some way to get from one place to another nearly instantaneously regardless of the distance between them.  

 OK I may have gotten a little off the track of “Electronic Entertainment”, but I think these could be called electronic and I feel that these would definitely entertain me. 

But, these are just my opinions. If you don’t like them get your own and make them known! 

-Cam           

It drives me nuts! Just when you start to get into a show, they end it. 

We call it the Luke Syndrome. Whenever this friend of ours started watching a new show, they would cancel it. Or is it just the Fox network? 

8 TV Shows Cancelled WAY Too Soon (not including sitcoms):  

 (in no particular order) 

Tru Calling (Fox) -  1 and 1/2 seasons. Eliza Dushku “reliving” days to help prevent wrongful deaths of dead people that asks her for help when they “meet” in the morgue where she works. What is not to love? OK, I admit it is hard to explain, but it is out on DVD, I own them, and I highly recommend at least a rental. 

7) Reunion (Fox)  - 1/2 season - It is just what is says. It is the reunion of a group from the “class of ‘86″. They go to their 20 year reunion and one of them is murdered. It flashes to all of their pasts and delves into each of their personal tragedies and triumphs, leading to who, why, and how one of them gets killed. But we will never know, will we. 13 episodes were made but not all aired. What happened?! 

6) John Doe (Fox) - 1+ seasons - Man found floating at sea by fishermen and soon discovers that he knows literally everything about everything….. except himself. He can tell you how many dimples are on a golf ball but he cannot tell you his own name. So, he becomes somewhat of a detective to help the police solve difficult crimes, but mostly to find out who he is. I always had hopes that this would return somehow, but when I saw Dominic Purcell (the actor who played John Doe) staring in “Prison Break”, I knew it would never happen. 

5) Firefly (Fox) - 1 season - Probably best described as a space age western. Just so you all know, I DO NOT LIKE WESTERNS, but I do love this show. It was about a crew of rebels, on a ship just trying to do the right thing while staying out of the radar of the, new oppressive force that is now ruling the galaxy. I know it does not sound it but it had a western feel to it that, oddly enough, really added to its appeal. It made it different enough to stand out, but still appeal to a more mass audience. I own this DVD set too and highly recommend it. You will recognize a LOT of the actors/actresses. Even members of the crew of the International Space Station are fans. They brought the series DVDs and the subsequent film “Serenity” and have been watching it in space. 

4) Standoff (Fox) - 1+ season - 2 FBI hostage negotiators on the same team are going against what seems like impossible odds to defuse hostage situations. Oh yea, and they get romantically involved. The premise may sound weak, but it is well executed. I enjoyed the intermittent social banter that the 2 had when they were in the middle of a negotiation. The whole thing was interesting and gripping.   

3) Drive (Fox) - less than 1 season - I was hooked! I was stoked! I said to myself when I saw the first episode “YEA. What TV needs! A shot in the arm! This could be a winner!” Cross country race, where everyone has their own secret motivation to be in it and win it. I loved it; the kids loved it, so needless to say it was cancelled. They said they made 7 episodes (about 100 not enough) but only showed 4 I think. The running joke on the net is that if Fox comes out with a new show. Don’t watch it right away, why get hooked on something that they are just going to yank off in a few weeks with a storyline just hung out there. (UPDATE: Good news! The last of the completed episodes will air on Fox on July 13th 2007. But will we get to see how the race ends?) 

2) Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (NBC) - 1 season - I think a little piece of me lost hope in the world when I heard this was cancelled. A show about the people backstage of an “SNL” type show, not just the silliness that continues after the show (like 30 rock, which still isn’t that funny, except Liz’s neurosis and everything about Kenny), but more about the people. It just happens to be a MULTI-faceted drama that takes place around creating a comedy. This drama hit all of the biggies at one time. Religion, politics, race, corporate pandering…… It was full of deep characters that made you feel like one of them, regardless who “them” is, and got you to see another side of what is going on. It kept getting better and better. It will be sorely missed. 

1) Threshold - (CBS) - 1 season - The future is now and alien invasion is here. Multidimensional alien objects are here; they are controlling the minds and bodies of people and leaving a very distinct signature. The future of the human race is in the hands of this team, a strategy/scenario expert, a scientist, an engineer, a mathematician, and an agent with a gun. As they try to find the ones originally infected, they must also deal with their “evolution” and find a way to stop the impending invasion. Since it has been cancelled and we do not know for sure, I can only assume that they are still looking (I hope!). 

WOW. Interesting. 6 from Fox, 1 from NBC and 1 from CBS. Do we sense a growing trend from Fox?

Anyway, these are my opinions. If you don’t like them, get your own and make them known.

-Cam  

I don’t know about you, but here are….

8 Things I Want to Hear Whispered in My Ear 

All of this money is yours

7) Have another drink

6) Take off your pants

5) Just do it

4) Relax. I will take care of everything.

3) Oh, trust me. You will know when I’m done.

2) Let me get that for you.

1) The Bengals just won the Superbowl!

   Well, there you have it. I don’t know why I felt the need to share that, but there it is. LOL

Now it’s your turn. If you want, tell me even just one. I am really curious.

These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, get your own. 

-Cam

ps. Thank you for the inspiration Steel City Gal……LOL

OK, unless you have been under a rock recently, you must know that there have been 2 new video game systems just released for retail.

One of them happens to be the Nintendo Wii (pronounced like “we”). Odd name, but it makes for overhearing some even more odd things at the stores.

These are things that I have actually overheard at video game stores and other various electronic departments.

8 Wii Bits of Entertainment

I have got to get my hands on a Wii.

7) My son wants the Wii.

6) OK, so Wii has motion sensing and vibration?

5) It’s going to take some time to get used to how to play with the Wii.

4) You just put the Wii in your hand and swing it around? (I hope they were talking about the controller)

3) How do you get the batteries in your Wii? (Once again, I hope they were talking about the controller)

2) Are these Wii things strong? I mean, if it slips out of my hand, will it break?

1) “BUT, MOM.. I WANT THE Wii!! You’ve gotta let me have the Wii!!”

Funny, Funny, Funny stuff. It still cracks me up. People actually talk like this in public! LOL

That’s my opinion. If you don’t like it, get your own!

-Cam

Much of the midwest is in a power outage. (us included, I am at an alternate location) Therefore I, evidently, feel the need to express my thoughts, or……….

8 Things About a Power Outage

Why does the fast food joint right down the street from me have power and I don’t?

7) Why does it actually feel colder inside than it does outside? (only applies in winter)

6) OK, so I have a whole drawer full of batteries and they all only last 5 minutes each?

5) If the power company says “we do not know when we will have your power back on”, and it is OK? They why can’t we tell them “I do not know when I will pay you”?

4) Why in the Hell do I keep flipping on the bathroom light EVERY time I go in there?

3) Well, CRAP! I am so glad that we have an electric stove, because natural gas is so expensive!

2) Fine time to find out the storm windows don’t work.

1) Your spouse would rather freeze to death than cuddle with you for the warmth.

and as always

This is my opinion. If you don’t like it, get your own!

-Cam