There’s nothing better than free money, especially when it’s free money given to you by the government to spend freely. When you get your $600, here are some suggestions on what to do with it.

An iPhone

An iPhone is a great gadget to buy if you’re an Apple fanboy or nerd who can’t bare to be without internet access for more than five minutes. The best part about having an iPhone? Being able to constantly utter the phrase “Let me just check my iPhone” and have every email sent from it signed “sent from my iPhone,” just in case someone forgets that you have an iPhone. With $600, not only can you buy an iPhone, but you’ll have enough left over to buy a separate cell phone and be “one of those guys.”

XBOX 360/PS3

Really, you should already have one of these anyway. But if you don’t, go buy one and make sure you get Grand Theft Auto IV along with it. That sh*t is awesome!

Strip Club

A trip to the strip club is a great way to spend cash at an alarmingly fast rate. But seriously, don’t let any of the “talent” get you over to the ATM. The government money is meant to be spent. Your daughter’s college fund is what’s going to keep her out of a place like the strip club you’re in.

Trump Steaks
If anyone knows good, high quality meat, it’s pompous real estate tycoons with bad hairdos. Not only that, but these classy steaks are sold through the Sharper Image, known slightly more for their tech gadgets than their butcher shop expertise. However, the steaks are only available to buy online. My guess is because they realized that Porsche radio phones don’t need to be refrigerated.

Gambling

The only faster way to lose money than a strip club. $600 on black. GONE! But if you’re lucky, you can double your money and buy more iPhones for your iPhone collection.

600 Tacos

Tacos, man! Do I really need to say anything else?

Face Tattoo
Nothing says “I’m one hardcore badass” than a tattoo right on your f*cking face. In addition to completely throwing away any chance of landing a real job, children will ask their parents what’s wrong with you and people like me will point and laugh. But come on–anyone who would actually do this probably doesn’t have anything better to do with $600 anyway.

Save it

If this is your plan, then you have clearly missed the point of this whole thing. Letting that money sit won’t help the U.S. economy. If you don’t spend stupidly, the terrorists win.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 24th, 2008 at 7:30 pm and is filed under Entertainment. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.