8 Things I Hate

by Nick

1. Hippies – Let’s get something straight. You have a trust fund and smoke pot all day while complaining how bad this country is. News flash pal, if you got off your ass and worked the country would be better. Eventually your trust fund will run out and you will have to work, but by then you won’t have acquired any skills that this society would view as “useful” You can’t get a job and are on welfare and are dragging down the economy and the country that you didn’t like in the first place. Do us all a favor, move to Iraq and complain how bad it is there, at least there you will be right.

2. Environmentalists – Okay, I will admit now with the price of gas you have a point. However, when you hop in your VW minivan and drive to Seattle to protest something you are using the something you are protesting! When you hop on a boat and protest an oil drilling well, you are prot! esting what you just rode on, they both run on oil and pollute the environment. News flash – solar energy can produce enough energy to power your local Starbucks, can’t heat your home in the dead of winter, can’t cool you home during the dog days of summer. Quit protesting and enroll in a university and come up with a new alternative instead of complaining.

3. Everyone in the state of California – All actors that complain about the war in Iraq, G.W. Bush, or the environment get the FUCK out of my country I don’t need you here. Leave and don’t come back. For the rest of California, I really appreciated you closing your nuclear power plants. Way to help out the environment, however, next time when you assholes don’t have enough electricity to cool your homes to a cozy 70 degree don’t ask the Midwest power companies to produce the extra electricity you need. I don’t like breathin! g that air and I don’t like paying for the repairs to the grid. Way to think that decision through.

4. France – Whenever I get over there I am going to smack all of you in the face with my American Passport. All you assholes do is complain. “The US can’t do this, the US can’t do that” Hey, the next time you even think about complaining how about you control the rioting Muslims that are being discriminated against in your own country, or how about the 25% unemployment rate, or the fact that your economy is so screwed you won’t be able to feed your people in 10 years. I wonder who you are going to ask for help when that happens? Probably the same people you begged in the 1940’s. I will be more than happy to help you. I will sell you a loaf of bread for $50 American. Eat my ass!

5. Poor people – OK, if you lost one of your limbs, are m! entally handicapped, a military vet, an orphan, etc. this does not apply to you. You people have my sympathy and any aid this country gives you, you deserve it. But for the rest of you, get the hell to work and quit complaining. Last time I checked you don’t have it that bad. You get paid to do nothing, you car has 22″ rims, you have a cell phone and Jordan’s, and free education even if you don’t want it. If I hear another one of you complain that your burger isn’t cooked properly, complain on TV that you have it hard and deserve some help, if I watch you cross the street at a pace such that you hold up society, I will vote to send all of you to the poorest part of the world and then make bets to see how long you last. Chances are good when you are in the middle of Africa, starving, knee deep in elephant shit, with AIDS, and no food or water, you will have a better appreciation of our society and strive to become apart of it by working.

6. 90% of all politicians – Hey I am paying $2.25 for a gallon of gas. You bastards knew this was coming back in 1975 and you did nothing and now we are screwed. Instead of complaining about the current administration, or building a playground in the middle of Alaska, how about fix something. Right now Brazil pays $1.25 for a gallon of gas and everyone in Canada has health insurance. DO YOUR JOB!

7. Beautiful Women who think they are better than you – Well right now you might be, but when that needle dick you decided to talk to in the bar last night gives you the HIV don’t come crying to me. I was at that bar and you didn’t give me the time of day. Don’t cry to my wife when 5 years into the marriage that jackass leaves you for another woman or you live in a double wide trailer. You could be in my wife’s shoes, but you decided to go with th! e guy with gelled hair and a souped up rice burner and I had to “trade-down.”.

8. Time Warner Cable – So you charge me $150 per month for Internet and cable. Congrats on the monopoly, but when I want to leave your ass for satellite and the phone company, don’t keep charging me because the people you hired are a bunch of inconsiderate morons. Just let me leave, I’ll sell your stock and then read about you in my son’s college textbook about companies that failed because they liked screwing over the little guy.